just read someone's blog...n i must say some pple are really full of angst like everyday...either that or the just have a blog to release their anger..either way that blog was full of nothing but anger...owell...n i really find it ironic about how that person said that he/she couldnt care less about family...but only cared about friends or love...but didnt it ever occur to that person that one day that gf/bf whom is loved would become family? what then? owell...im really in no position to say anything...but i just find it really interesting n eye-opening that someone has such thoughts...owell..."nuff said"

as copied from gab...FRIENDS OF THE DAY GO TO JIN WENHAO N WALLACE!

i havent had so much laughter in such a loooong time! last night was a real blast...we played mahjong n xbox n had a great great time altogether...i first met jin n wenhao at orchard...then we went to jin's house to help him clean his house...then we practiced soccer set pieces in jin's garden...then we headed to kap for dinner where we waited for wallace n bumped into owen! stayed there for a pretty long time just chatting n catching up with things...then we headed to my house...put down the snacks we bought n went to pick up kim n juliana...wallace was like attracted to kim almost instantly man...haha...n he kept hitting on her all night until i said that she was attached...somehow he didnt understand me when i tried to signal to him that she was attached...anyhoo we taught kim how to play mahjong n we played one whole "wind"...n i must say im a good teacher n she has a lot of luck man...she won like dunno how many rounds man...it was a really long time before they could displace her from being the banker...yeah so after one "wind" wallace n i walked kim home where we borrowed a xbox controller cos i only brought one back...on the way back wallace n i had a pretty nice chat...he filled me in on things that happened to him...n i told him things too...so yeah...when we got back...wallace hit the couch n knocked out...jin wenhao n i played euro 2004...it was pretty fun cos wenhao n i had some pretty sleek teamwork when we played co-op...n we ripped apart the defences...but stupidly conceeded many stupid goals...haha...n we played nba 2004 too! again our teamwork was really good n although we lost 1 match...it was cos somehow our shots didnt go in at the last quarter so we got run over by the comp...but hey! i think if wenhao n i played in games together...we would've been a very good partnership...both in soccer n bball...man i wish i could play soccer or bball...owell...haha...well bottom line is that i had so much fun that really put a smile back on my face after a depressing monday...n im so grateful to God for giving me such great friends...

i tried so hard n got so far...but in the end...it doesnt even matter...fuck.

as usual my mind wandered in the shower...n i couldnt help but think what if i had said yes originally...it was so difficult to say to i didnt love her too...n it hurt me more than she'll know...n i guess i really wonder what if we had happened...i wouldnt have gotten to know gab or imran or so many others i developed great friendships with...on the other hand...i could've been in acjc still n i made so many friends in the one month i was there...what if i had stayed a year? also...if there was one thing or person that could've stopped me from going to trinity...it would've been her...but she didnt stop me...nor did she say anything to me...i guess although i had a really fulfilling year at trinity...there'll always be a "what if" over my head...

after talking to her more n meeting up after coming back...i know i still have feelings for her...its there n i cant deny it as much as i would like to...but i think she's moved on n she must've felt really awkward being with me...how can i blame her? bahh i dunno what to feel...why am i always like that??? sheesh...owell...

met up with seehwei for brunch today at city link...we went to thai express to eat...my first time there actually...food was pretty good...i had green curry...yum...haha...yeah we talked n talked n talked n talked for so long...its great to have such a long conversation with an old friend after not meeting for so long...the last time we met was in june n we ate at suntec...near city link...haha...i think seehwei has a thing for suntec or city link cos after lunch we walked to suntec as well...haha...well on top of the catching up n all that we did...we debated/argued about certain stuff...well peacfully at least...haha...things like ns...how much we "missed" sg when we were overseas...she was chosen for a foreign exchange programme to taiwan for 3 weeks n she to only missed the pple in sg rather than the place itself...n she missed taiwan too...i think its weird how we can have so many things in common yet we're so different in many aspects n have different opinions on certain things as well...but hey! its nice to have a friendly debate once in a while to get ur brain working n yet still be able to catch up with a great friend at the same time...i could use more of such nice meetings with friends...haih owell...one more week alone n my family'll be back...2 more weeks n the twins n ahma'll be here! cant wait for that to happen...miss them sooo much!! bahh im bored...

this one's super late cos i got jacked by the aussie internet...it got cancelled earlier than i expected so i couldnt go online...then after coming back to sg i couldnt get my internet working either...so here is the long long long overdue dedication to a great bud that i made in australia that kept me sane n insane whilst in trinity...so here we go...

IMRAN: first met imran in acsi actually...he approached me during a paper review n asked me whether im going to trinity n we exchanged contacts then...we didnt really talk until we met at the pre-departure talk at oal...n we got off pretty well...then again we didnt talk until he came to melb where xan n i brought him around to buy stuff for his room...the 3 of us became pretty good friends cos having someone u know around in a foreign place is something comforting i would say...so yeah we hung out a lot all the way thru til trinity started...

n yeap there we made a hell lot of noise man! i think many pple hated us cos we laughed so much im sure we attracted a lot of attention...i know kim koh was very irritated with us during the trinity tour...hahah...so yeah...we enjoyed each other's company n shared so much laughter i think i had stomach cramps almost every time we met...haha...so yeah we got closer a lot more cos we hung out like everyday i think...yeah just about everyday we were together...i must say that its cos of our acsi roots that we even met up in the first place that grew a special friendship between us...n im really glad that we became friends...imran was someone i always knew i could look to to just chat with n crap about the sun sky n sea...or i could go to him to just confide in things n relief some pressure off my back...of cos this dude also kept me company whenever mr xan lim was out with mrs xan lim...n whenever we were bored we'll have the company of each other to pass time or complain about cpmb or the boredness that we're going thru...

so yeah i cant say how grateful i am to know imran n to have his company throughout the year cos no words can describe my feelings to know such a great friend to have around...i guess we were hanging out so much that everyone knew that imran n i were like 90% of the time together...n of cos the other 3 girls would be most likely with us...i remember the day we were going off for the trinity camp...imran came up to uropa to chill out before we go off to the meeting point...even then while we were a bit jaded about the thought of going to some place without knowing anyone...we were still laughing away n playing nfs trying to beat xan's top speed...haha...those were the days when we really had nothing better to do...until now when we were mugging for our finals...complaining to each other how sian we were off studying...n soon we'll be complaining about how messed up ns is...haha...i really cant imagina what trinity would've been without imran...im very certain that without him i wouldnt have enjoyed trinity as much as i have...cos not only did he give me company....through imran i got to know so many more pple...pple like panthea ahma n pervy...n we probably wouldnt have gotten greenlight cos yonsen disappeared...haha...n plus when we did acoustic versions of songs...imran was the back up vocalist...n i must say he's great with harmonizing man...the songs we recorded sounded really good...

i guess the thing i like the most about trinity was that i got to know great friends n in particular imran...he's one guy i can talk to about so many things n have so many things in common...yet we have our differences that makes the friendship even more interesting...really...how i would get thru trinity without imran would be something i wont wanna imagine...cos i really cant...

well i think its so hard for me to say goodbye to these 3 wonderful girls...n i really dont know how i'll react when i leave...tears would definitely be held back...n smiles of uncertainty would be constantly on my face...uncertain when we'll meet again...uncertain what will happen to us when we leave...uncertain for our future...by one thing i'll be certain of...our friendship would never end despite the distances...to mention to 2004 would be the equal of mentioning these girls along with mr abdullah...

ANTHEA: i think among the 3 girls...i was the closest to her in the sense that i'd talk to her the most n we could click really well from the time we met...we were parteners when we played badminton n we did some serious butt kicking! n so that was the start of a very special friendship...of cos it would go without saying that i teased her a lot n made fun of her n all...but deep down inside i knew that she was a great great friend that i could count on n turn to in need...we could talk for really long periods of time n sometimes we would just be talking rubbish...yet sometimes we would talk about pretty intellectual stuff...well most of the time i would tease her about DR L**G...METAL...n so on n so forth...she knows them all...heh...i always had so much laughter with her n at her...she's like a really smart nerd yet cool in her own way...n the things she comes up with are certainly able to put u in so much laughter u'll just die...examples would be "melbourne in autumn" n her robot dance that looked nothing like a robot...n she's so weight conscious she started doing taebo n exercising n whatever nots...but she still looks the same to me...hahah...bummer there...well she wants to get into medicine so badly she really stresses herself out a lot when exams come...n she's like a freak of nature cos she's so damn smart she can just study the night before n still do better than me...i think i only beat her for like 1 paper out of the whole year?? only because she got too nervous in the exam hall n forgot how to apply some formula or something like that...who in the world can play around so much n do crappy things n yet still be able to pull off a 96% average?? oh yah...for her high school results...10 A1s...damn man...how in the world do u beat that??? owell...she's really good to turn to for advice n sometimes the advice she offers can be really useful too...n the night before i went for my op...she was really supportive n comforting...i swear if i hadnt talked to her that night...i would have freaked out the next day...really...before i talked to her my heart was racing like mad...but after that it slowed down significantly...i really hope we could keep our friendship going n meet up in the years to come n look back on the wonderful memories we shared...

CHRISTINA: aka ahma! being the oldest n the ditziest of the group...imran always teased her n bullied her...but then again imran bullies all 3 of them...but thats besides the point...ahma's like a paris hilton/blonde thats just really blur rather than dumb...after finding out that she was a liverpool fan as well as a soccer fan...we would always talk about soccer n liverpool n debate about emile heskey like there was no end...it was great to have someone around to talk to about epl since imran wasnt really a follower of the league...she's also our source of laughter too cos she can be really ditzy at times that we wouldnt know what to say but just laugh cos she was soooooo funny! the most recent one i can remember would have to be the one when we sat at freddos before our final exams eating ice cream...n ahma said that shuqi was like her "idol" cos she's really pretty n hot...n all of us laughed so hard at ahma cos shuqi's a soft porn actress!! it was like the first time i ever heard someone idolize a pornstar! so much for being a good catholic girl huh...hahaha...which also reminds me...ahma will go clubbing on sat night n drink n dance n come back real late...then wake up super early the next day n go to church! sounds ironic yet it can be sorta being a good catholic too lah i suppose...haha...ahma's just too funny to be described by words! definitely someone i would miss laughing at!

ZOE: the "quietest" of all the 3 even though eventually she became not so quiet...haha...she's like THE SILENT KILLER who at the start of the year said very little...yet when she did say something...it always was like somehting kinky n perverted...hahaha...she's like sneakily keeping to herself with all her perverted n kinky thoughts running thru her mind...who knows what goes on in there man...i know i wouldnt wanna know! haha...well as the year went on...i talked to her more about certain things whereby she was the only person in the world who knew about them...i guess i must have bored her quite a lot cos most of the time i spoke to her about that particular thing that had bothered me...i know i'd be quite irritated if everytime i spoke to someone...he/she would bring up the same subject every time...but zoe still remained a listening ear to me and was so paitent with me on top of the numerous piecese of advice she always gave me...but as the year went on this girl became lazier n lazier n lazier! she'll always say she's tired or lazy to go somewhere...leaving the 4 of us to go off without her...n not to forget she became a "victim" for romantic stuff...she'll go "awwww" at things she thought were romantic n both imran n i will be like... O.o haha...hmmm then again i guess most girls love all these romantic lovey dovey stuff from time to time...haha...im definitely gonna miss her quiet presence that i could just rant away with my problem n she'll just listen intently only to open her mouth once im done to voice out her opinion that made all the difference to so many things...


im gonna miss all 3 of them so so much...words cant describe how i feel about saying goodbye when come this thursday......