well a friend's going through some rough times now cos of some bgr problems. i dont really know the gist of the problem or what really happened, but she seems to be hurt so badly n all. sigh. i dont know why but sometimes relationships that can be so simple n straightforward yet in the end things become complicated n twisted simply because we humans make it that way. party a may feel hurt n cheated n was the one on the losing end. party b may feel that he/she was put in a spot n had a choice to make. as i always say, there's always 2 sides to a story n from each perspective there'll be a different view or version of the story. the only way that both parties can better understand the situation or each other would be to know the full story from each other n settle things amicably. ok so that would only happen in an ideal world, which basically will never ever happen. but sometimes if one would only put in the effort to understand the other party n be a bit more understanding n compromise more, a lot of conflicts would be avoided n the hurt caused by each party on the other party could be avoid as well. easier said than done, but we should just try to save ourselves the hurt n all that quarrels.

anyway back to my friend, i dont know if ure reading this, but i feel ur pain. really i do, ive been there before n i know how u feel. u just ask why is it happening to u, n why must u be put through such crap. but u just gotta be strong, pull urself together n look forward to the next day. it wont be easy n it wont be soon, but eventually u'll get over it n move on. as i said, God gave us friends for a reason n at times like these, it helps to turn to them for help n strength. well having said that, if u need someone to talk to, u have my no. im only a call away, God bless u, n take care.

yesterday was...well yesterday could've been better. first the pasir ris crap thing, then the performance. well i couldn't do anything about the pasir ris thing n i dunno whether i can do anything about any future pasir ris thing but we'll see how things go. n the performance, well anything that could've gone wrong did go wrong. the amp gave xan trouble, his string snapped, the guitar he borrowed threw him off, my amp gave me trouble, i couldn't hear gab's guitar, sigh. gab was so disheartened after the performance i didnt know what to say to him. then i had dinner n a movie with xan n he too was feeling so terrible, n i also didnt know how to console him. it just all went all wrong. owell i hope we'll jam again sometime n do some recordings.

oh watched saw2 with xan n i think it tried to convey a msg in a very interesting way. "those who dont treasure life dont deserve life" a sadistic way of making a person realize how to appreciate life really, but the ending's just crap la i swear.

3 weeks to go!

yay looking forward to next week; shall elaborate another time.

the past week has been pretty stressful for me to a certain extent. well a medical equipment went missing when i wasnt around n cos im in charge of them, its my problem n i have to find it n dig it out from some where. it certainly doesnt help when my prick of a boss keeps pounding the pressure n stress onto me. at least the times i managed to get awat from it all was when i was covering safety for a boatman course on wed n fri. i had to be on a safety boat n go out to sea with the rest of the trainees while they trained n stuff. i realized i really liked being in the open waters, with the wind blowing against my face as the boat sped along its course. i could just look around n ravell at the openess n beauty of my surroundings. the sun was killer n really strong n i folded up my sleeves to get a bit of a tan, n i think i managed to get a pretty nice tan on my arms now, heh. yeah so as i was saying, being out in the open sea just allowed me to escape from all that was happening in my life; being thrown into the army, being alone without my family, having my friends caught studying, having such a crap boss; the list is just endless this year.

i try not to complain about life cos i know how blessed n priviliged i am, but this year has just been too trying for me. ive been strong n ive had faith in the strength God has given me, but i am only human n i know i have a limit, luckily i havent reached it n i know i can push on more; but for how long? my colleagues say im hot tempered, i agree, but with such idiotic people for a boss, n so many things snowballing in my life, can u blame me? i know i blame myself n i always pray to keep a cool head, sure i can at times, but too much would be too much n i lose it. i always regret losing my cool, but i think its a route of release for me sometimes n i'd rather let my steam out in short bursts rather than keep it all bottled n let it out suddenly in a massive explosion.

ah well the only comfort i can keep consoling myself with is that ive about a year to go until i can start to clear my leave, n i cant wait.

o. i know why now, hah i remember my past post. bummer. whoops, guess i shouldnt blog with the mindset that people dont really read it.

ok so that was really awkward, haha. why in the world did she think that way?? maybe its something i said, haha. anyway relaxed the day away so far, gonna be having dinner with my aunt n uncle laters at parkway i think. blast the stupid weather, i originally planned to head down to the club for a good swim n tanning n bowl a few games, but it rained so much in the morning n was so gloomy the entire day i just didnt feel like going out of the house. except for lunch that is, didnt have a choice but go out to eat. n the stupid guy forgot my teh-tarik, i wasnt in the mood for nonsense so i just left without it.

speaking of nonsense, my boss is just a total prick. i cant find an adequate description of him, so for now prick it is. on wed i had to book out 2 hours late cos he made me do what he was supposed to do, ok nevermind i settled it before leaving, all that was left was for him to call a lady n confirm with her then number of vaccines, but no. he had to be an idiot n not call her. now today i asked a colleague to double check for me, n what a not-so-surprising surprise, he didnt make that call. so i had to guide my colleague over the phone how to settle it all n sort it out. im beginning to lose my paitence with my boss i swear. he loves to say that i dont do my work properly n should be more responsible. but what a great example he is. things that were meant to be done by him, ends up being done by me. meetings that were meant to be attended by him ends up being attended by my colleague. yeah sure a boss is supposed to supervise n allocate work, but thats not all that a boss does! he has his own set of things to do that i or we as NSFs do not have the power to do or settle. he just happily scoots off to SMM n be an extra, leaving behind his work n responsibilities. what's wrong with him i dont know, but what i do know, somebody needs to learn a thing 2 from himself. i cant be bothered anymore, im doing too much work n getting too little credit; why do i even bother? cos its my own reputation n my own principles, but if i put in the hard work, i jolly well deserve some welfare in return as a reward. but if im not getting repaid for being hardworking, then i might as well just slack around n smoke my way through. i dont see a point any more, after all, i wont see him anymore once i leave the army. so u can kiss my candy a55 u prick, cos i aint giving a damn no more.

ripped this from jabez's blog:

5 things you wouldn't know just by looking at me

1. i was a prefect in secondary school n i graduated from the school as a prefect councillor in charge of disciplinary. this dispite i was a horrid punk in sec 1 getting thrown out of classes, making teachers cry, thrashing the class when no teachers are around, n really having no respect for teachers that i felt did not deserve any. how did i become a prefect again? i've no idea.

2. im very much a family person. my family n loved ones always take first place in my heart n in my life. to me, if i neglect my friends n neglect my family, i'd feel more guilty for neglecting my family. i just feel that our lives revolves around our families, n without them we're pretty much empty; nothing. without family, life is meaningless.

3. im very much a punk rocker but dont look one. i love my guitar to its bits. i love rock songs, but not hard rock. punk n emo's cool with me. im also in a band that's currently sorta taking a break from playing music; basically cos our lead singer is in australia while the remaining 3 of us are caught in ns wasting our time n lives. i seriously hope we cut an album someday; even though it wont be an nationwide or whatever-nots thing, but something for the future where we can say "i've dont that before, n i'm proud to have done it with such great bandmates n friends."

4. im a really loyal person. im extremely loyal to my school of 10 years; Anglo-Chinese School. i believe that its where i was moulded to be who i am today n gave me the foundation i need for my future. im really loyal to the football club i support, Liverpool FC. i dont mind losing sleep n risk booking in late the next day to support them n watch them play. n im loyal to my friends. i dont believe n betraying friends or backstabbing them. i'd stand up for them if i know they're someone i can call a friend, n i'd be there for them whenever i can. n im couldnt be more loyal to my girlfriend; if i had one. i'd do everything in my power for her every request. i'd rather see her happy n hurt myself than look out for my own wellbeing. i wouldnt be able to stand seeing her cry n i'd do anything to take away her pain. i'd go the extra mile or 100 miles for her; without a single complain escaping my mouth. i'd hold her close in my arms n shield her from any harm. but most importantly; i'd love her with every bit n beat of my heart.

5. im pretty much a movie junkie. i like watching movies. scary ones especially. action, comedy, romance, drama, etc are all cool too. but of cos the wallet constraint makes this liking very very difficult. singapore's movie pricings are getting out of hand n out of the world; its freaking expansive man i swear. that's pretty much the reason why i always ask pple to watch a movie with me, whenever i jio pple out.

6. one extra one: i love having a conversation with a great friend or companion. a conversation with planty of laughter n intelligence is a must have on a regular basis for me. thankfully i found that in someone in camp, but unfortunately he's going to ORD so looks like gotta find one again. hah.

hmmm i think some of these traits not many pple know of me. hah. "still water runs deep"