red, yellow, black n white; the different types of people who make up this world. but other than colour, the different characters of people are also what makes up this world. some people are just born with a mouth n brain so useless, they dont even have to do anything, n the 2 body parts will connect to make ridiculous, unthoughtful, n rude remarks. why? dont ask me, cos as far as i know, as far as i know its not one of my character traits. there we all are, the youths bowling right in front of him, n he can rattle on about each person's mistakes n flaws n gun them down; all in the same breath. its not as if i was so close to him that i can hear his whisper; he was bloody shouting it out. n furthermore, the bowling alley was so damn noisy from all the cheering, shouting, pins falling, n bowling balls striking the lanes. it was so noisy i had to raise my voice significantly to talk to the person next to me. yet this fool of an idiot can shout around so loudly that i can hear him from almost 3 - 4 metres away; that just means everyone else could hear him. i was so irritated n embarressed by his comments cos he was so out of line to write off our opponent openly when we were still midway through the game. n what irritated me most was whenever our own team missed spares, he will say how important that spare was, n how much it costed the team, n how badly the team was doing. for goodness sake he was the parent of one of my team's bowlers! there he is openly gunning us down while there we are doing our best to conquer the lane conditions; which werent the easiest of conditions i must point out. so there he was mr motor mouth, before another parent arrived n shut him up with the cutest of cheat codes; an adorable n absolutely lovely toddler. she was a darling i tell u. very very cute, n very very lovable. lol.

i definitely want to have my own kid n toddler to play with.

any takers? ;p

just received my birthday card from my parents n sis. i miss them so much; i miss their very presence in my life, i miss their impact in my life, i miss the way they affect my life, i miss the fact that they are indeed, my life. after reading what my parents n sis wrote in their cards, tears trickled down my cheeks with a pain so severe n indescribable radiating throughout my heart. what a feeling that not only cant be penned on paper n put into words, nor be explain to anyone with the use of any vocabulary this world has ever known, nor be expressed in anyway known to mankind; except love itself. when people are to ask me what love is, i know the feeling, i know the pain, i know the ecstasy, i know the very true meaning - of love. God has put me through 19 years on the face of this earth before letting me know what love really is. love is not something describable, it is not the feeling (guys) get upon seeing the hotest chic on earth in the nude; it is not the feeling (girls) get when the cute guy sweeps u off ur feet. no, love is on a different calibre altogether, one that is so special n different to all feelings, one that just feels so right, one that u just cant explain.

so i may be typing out jibberish n rubbish to some, but for all the shit ive been through in ns, all the shit ive had to stomach, all the shit that is ns itself, may not have been experience by just me alone. but not everyone in ns has their parents in a country 100000 miles away from u, not everyone has to stay in an empty house all alone but a pet dog, not everyone has to enlist earlier than normal n be permanently stuck with people far older n with different mindsets n views, not everyone has to be thrown into the deep end of the pool minutes after learning how to tread water, not everyone has their friends of the past year in a country 10000 miles away from u, not everyone has their old friends in school while they serve ns, not everyone has fucked up bosses, not everyone has to be posted to hq commandos as a medic, n most of all, not everyone has to have an injury so severe that ur everyday life is affected to such an extent that even ur favourite sport causes pain.

i didnt understand why God put me through so much at such a young age, i was en route to depression; suffering from sleeping disorders, perpertual sadness 24/7, struggling socially, really the list didnt seem to end. but one thing that kept me going, was the fact that i knew God wanted me to learn, He wanted me to grow up, to learn to be a man, to learn to cope with life's struggles n difficulties, to learn to manage my stress levels, n to manage my very own life. it wasnt easy, n it wont be as i still have approx. 8 months to go in ns, but friends like seehwei n nadine kept pushing me on, reminding me that God has His plan, n He wont abandon me no matter what i may think.

ah well, if life was always smooth flowing n easy-peasy, then it wouldnt be much of a life, aye? at least the light at the end of my tunnel is getting brighter, soon i will be at the end. soon i will be at the end; waving my PINK IC n saying to my boss 'fuck u understand? bitch.'

bowled ok for tonight's league. could've bowled better, n i really should've. owell at least i hit a 200 game n made a really nice spare. spared it exactly the way i pictured it in my mind to be. well bottom line is we won 5-0 so everything else is secondary. gotta sleep, church's at 1030 tmr; terence's church.

sometimes when there're just so many things n thoughts in ur mind, u just cant pen them all down. basically cos u just dont know where to start. owell i need the rest that i so rightly deserve, i just wish i could get it. sigh. army sucks. im tired, i really am.

if i could turn back time, i would have done so many things differently in my life. i know it was about me, its undeniable. i dont know how to face u anymore, im really sorry, but if u think u were the only one suffering then, how wrong u are cos everyday my heart hurt so badly after saying those words to u. u wont understand what was going on back then, n u wont understand now even if i explained myself. n even if i do explain myself now, what use is there? its not like we're gonna get back together; we've both moved on n those kind of feelings are no longer present for sure. dont look me in the eye, cos i wont know where to put mine.

having said that, i stumbled on some really funnay shiat on jabez's blog:

20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

lol