im sure just about all guys would agree with me on this:
when a guy tells a girl face-to-face for the first time that he likes her, n on top of that would like to her to be hhis gf, it take a lot of courage from the guy to take such a big step. n such an uneasy step at that. sure we guys may be insensitive in the opinion of girls, but we have feelings too. we can feel the hurt in our hearts, we can feel our hearts shatter in the arms of the girl we feel the most for. n yes, we do know the meaning of pain; n how it feels like. the very least we could hope to get in return would be a frank, honest answer. maybe not one that is too direct n blunt, but at least the truth would suffice.

but no, that's not to happen. instead, some random vague answer is given n in turmoil we are left in.

i feel fucked up.
i feel like fuck.

why? cos life's like that; life isnt fair. yeah im real sure its a great consolation to know im a nice guy n would make a great boyfriend. but at the end of the day, im still unattached.

nice guys always finish last. thanks a lot.

i am... sad.
it was a good date, n almost everything went according to plan. BUT, it didnt quite end the way i had hoped it to. said she wasnt ready to commit, n kept insisting it wasnt my fault. who really knows, aye?

sigh. goodnight. advanced theory test tmr.
then i'll be one more step closer to my licence. yay. hur.

*this entry was typed at 0330 hrs on 080806

its about time for an update after ages of leaving this blog to rot away, lol.

i’ll ‘transfer’ all my taiwan thoughts in here in due time, but that trip was like way way way back man, hah never mind, better late than never.

had an off day today after a super long time. a very well deserved one at that i must say. after all the happenings in camp, to say ive been busy would be an extreme understatement. well even so i had a mini heart attach cos i was almost activated to report back to camp at 5 pm! n i only received the call at like 330! i was friggin pissed off la! at least i managed to bargain n pushed it back to 11 hah.

anyway went out with diana today after a really long time. i kinda missed her to be honest. i guess although i know she’s oob, i cant help but feel like we conenct in some weird way. its like whenever we talk, we get along as if we’ve known each other for like forever. well today was no different cos we chatted n laughed our hearts while she just kept teasing me the whole time la. but it was good i must say, its been some time since ive had a good chat with a friend. well cos i didnt get to request to book in tmr, we had to cut our meeting short n head our separate ways really early. early relative to the time that we met that is, hah. well i guess guys n girls have different perceptions of each other. in her mind, guys are horny n get into relationships with an objective to satisfy his physical needs. when i told her there’s more to relationships than just making out, she seemed pretty stunned that i made such a statement. hmm, but then again i dont know whether its cos she didnt expect that of me or she didnt expect it from a guy. i dont know, but either way she was quite speachless after i said it. owell.

hmm after she said that to me, i was kinda feeling awkward for some reason, n i dont know why. well as far as i know, i didnt cause it n i had no part in it. but for some reason i just had this weird feeling in me. well i admit i am interested in her, but i think its extremely unlikely that i’ll be doing anything. basically the fact that im leaving for aust soon just makes things difficult. n well, she’s gonna be a flight stewardess, so that just makes things all the more complicated. who knows when i’ll see her again after she starts work, flying around the world. ah well i think too much man, nothing has even happened n im thinking about all these stuff, bleargh. hah. the old saying that man complicates the simplest of things holds true i guess. hah. well she’s a great friend for now, n i think i like things the way they are; we sitting around chit chatting, talking rubbish, joking around n just enjoying each others’ company. ok so well this post is kinda random but im typing this at 330 am. why? cos im bored n in camp now. (yeap i brought...ahem...smuggled my laptop into camp. heheh)

sianz... cant sleep cos the rangers are undergoing POW training. dunking n all going on. super retarded, i swear. but what can i do; just my luck for getting posted to commandos. yawnz.